New Year's Resolutions

With the new year approaching now is as good of a time as any to reflect on your actions, shortcomings, & accomplishments. So here's my P.O.V on the subject:

"if it didn't change last year, it won't magically change in 09".

People always seem to look at the new year with such optomism, but seldom think out what needs to be done on THEIR behalf for this predicted forecast of pure happiness and goodness to come to light.

Think back, what was your new year's resolution last year? Can you even remember? and if you can, how long did it take you to break it? Resolutions are supposed to be set to enhance your upcoming year, not just the first week of the year. Your resolutions should be things that you need to accomplish, change, give up, etc to bring out the best of you.

Remember, you "reap what you sow". The phrase doesn't state that "you reap what you SAY" for a reason. You know yourself better than anyone else, and should be able to identify the baggage in your life. Baggage cost $15 or more per bag on flights these days... pack light for your trip into 2009! (Translation: leave this year's drama in THIS YEAR)

STOP PLAYING URSELF...PLEAZ!!!

She gave him way more than he needed in the beginning of the relationship and started to assume that things were developing. You know what they say about those that assume...you only make an ass of yourself...and an ass she did! She begin to label things before things were even label-able. She took his kindness as an affectionate gesture towards her, "he must like me since he's doing all this," is what she felt even though he hadn't said such. She begins to offer things and he begins to take, just like he would for any other female. Now she's feeling special because she's sharing things with him that wouldn't "share with the average." He thinks nothing of it and continues to move forward having no clue of the concepts the are developing in her head and the labels that she has begun to whisper amongst the lonely audience of her home.

He sees something that he like and begins to chase after it unlike the way he chased after her. He begins to share his enthusiasm and interest in his muse while she can't figure out where she went wrong. She's put in the time and effort and this new chik gets all his attention. Her heart begins to break as he begins to drift away from her and into the arms of his chase. He starts to call less unless its for advice on what he should do to get his new interest to start paying him attention. With ever question he ask her heart crumbles and cripples due to his sincere interest in someone ... that's not her. He's so exhausted from pursuing and chasing his desire but is so enjoying the journey because she's worth it.

She on the other hand can't believe it, her world is fading to black fast. She fell in love with someone that had no idea he was supposed to love her....because he wasn't supposed to love her. He was supposed to love who he's in love with. She on the other hand was just a snack he indulged along the way. In his eyes their was no harm done because it was a mutual agreement that just happened to happen. He had nothing vested in it and wasn't expecting nothing from it because initially that wasn't what he wasn't looking for it. He figured out what he was looking for after he got tired of snacking and wanted a full meal. Knowing in order for him to receive his full meal he would have to find the right cook, with the right ingredients that knew how to cook what he needed. He knew it would take time and patience but for the satisfaction of having a good meal, he was willing to wait on it.

So many times we play ourselves but want to blame the guy. Whatever a guy truly wants he will go after it until he gets it. We don't have to give them lead way or help them out... that only handicaps them from doing what they are supposed to do. And just because a guy does something nice for you doesn't mean he's interested in you. And just because a guy may not be interested in you doesn't make anything wrong with him or you... you're just not each other's fit. Stop giving in so quick, fall back, get your emotions in check, because feelings can be fleeting. Keep your guard up until its time for it to come down. Keep a set of standards that a guys has to meet before you waste your energy on something that's not. Go back to what your mama, grandma or someone amongst the wise used to tell about guys. This is not meant to bash men but c'mon we gotta do better. Guys are tired or going through unnecessary stuff with us too, give them something to chase or work for...they really want to work for it. If they don't, then you don't them any way.

Every woman should know...

"Every woman should know when to try harder, and when to walk away" - Maya Angelou


Time and time again I've seen chics drag a relationship out because of what it could/should/might be, when they know it's over. Chics end up wasting another 3-6 months (give or take) just trying to decide what they should do. I can guarantee you that when a chic breaks up with a guy, it has been coming for a long time. On the other hand a guy could break up with a chic at the first signs of things heading the wrong way. Granted they may tend to keep going back to chics from their past, but "a guy can only do what you let him".


So I said all of this to say, women need to learn "when to try harder, and when to walk away". Every guy you grow to like is not worth trying harder for. Sometimes he's just not on your level. So instead of sitting around waiting and trying to mold him into something he is not, why not go out and find what your looking for. Or at least make yourself available for it. You can't change someone that doesn't want to be changed, and a outside female can't TAKE a man who is not available to be took. NO, that woman you dislike did not STEAL your man, or wreck your happy home. If he was truly YOUR man, he wouldn't have left.


Women would spare themselves so much pain and grief if they just realized "hey, it may be time to move on". Some people are in your life for a reason, season, lifetime; and you need to be able to realize and accept what their purpose in your life is/was. Now this is not to say that there are not good men out there worth waiting on, and growing with; but I don't think that's a decision we as women should be making on our own. Wait for the signs from the only being that can give it, before you decide to put everything on hold for someone who's season could very well be up.

283...YES WE CAN and DID!!!

It was when the Associated Press announced 283 that pandemonium erupted everywhere. People took to the streets of all races in all nations in celebration of Barack Obama, a black man, becoming the President Elect of the United States. THE PRESIDENT YA'LL!!!! I was literally left speechless. Here I am 28 years old and I am apart of history. My vote, my simple little vote along with the rest of my generation has helped to change the corridors of America forever. Big up to my generation, this election goes to show you that if we want something or agree with something WE WILL STAND UP AND UNITE FOR IT!!!

Last night was such a memorable event on so many levels. It told us that if you believe that you can do something, you can do it. It showed us that maybe; just maybe, America has grown up a bit and is willing to look beyond color and judge according to the content of their character. We did it Dr. Martin Luther King...WE DID IT!!!

On a personal note, it showed Black America that we do have a voice and it has been heard. It showed us that prayer does change things. It shows that despite what the media portray of us "black love" is on and popping. It gave America a glimpse into how love shapes who we are and what we are. I hope that Obama and Michelle's example inspire us...black people to want to continue to love and support each other. To show others that we, black women, want to love and celebrate our black men. And our black men to want to continue to love and celebrate us black women.

Our kids now finally get a chance to see a family that looks like them, that's struggled like them and over came like they will, in the White House. Grant it, this may not be just about black people but "we" as a people take pride and selfish piece of accomplishment from this powerful and monumental occasion. Man, I'm still in awe! This is definitely one of the most unforgettable moments to date. We got a lot of work to do but I stand behind and support my new President Barack Obama.

SAY IT LOUD, I'M BLACK AND I'M PROUD!

Don't Save Em, They Don't Wanna Be Saved...

Time and Time again people come to you for advice, and then turn around and do the exact opposite of what you suggested. If you knew you were going to do what you wanted, why even ask for advice. Why waste my precious breath! I guess they are unaware of the whole "once you know, your held accountable" theory. Well from now on, no more advice from me. I will simply sit back, watch you fall, then laugh hysterically. May even reach my hand out to help you up, and then pull it back quickly before you grab it so you fall again. Muahahahahahaa

Why does she stay?

So I was asked to write a blog as to why chics stay with a dude who isn't necessarily treating them right and here is what I came up with.


History- sometimes when you have a history with a person, it isn't so easy to just walk away. It's what you know, what your familiar with. Sometimes the good in that person outweighs the things that they are doing wrong at the moment, and the chic believes that 1 day "things will return to how they were". The Good Old Days..

The fear of the unknown- starting a new relationship is like moving to a new territory. No matter how much you THINK you know this new person, once your really acquainted things could turn out to be the same as what you were leaving. You always want your next to be better than your ex, and since there's no real way of knowing that without actually making that move, sometimes it's easier to stay.

Material/Future- sometimes chics don't value themselves more than the THINGS a guy does for her. So to you, he could be slacking in sooo many areas, but to her because he has X Y Z, or the potential to get/have these things, she won't go. She doesn't want to leave and another chic ends up with what she was supposed to have (Insert Beyonce's song lyrics " she gone be rocking chinchilla coats if I let you go… I can't let you go, damned if I let you go").

Payback/Guilt- remember there are 2 sides to every story. So just because you see that he is just dogging her from your point of view, you don't know the dirt that she has done. Not saying two wrongs make a right, but there are always 3 sides to a story her's, his, and the truth. CLEARLY a situation where both are dogging each other is just toxic, but it's just another reason why chics stay.

There are a lot of other things I could write about such as their past experiences with men, the way their mothers or whoever they looked up to dealt with men, etc.. There's no 1 reason. Umm that's all I have for now.. I will write more 1 day

BEING THE BIGGER PERSON

For the record let me start off by saying I HATE having to be the bigger person towards someone older than me that should know the difference between right and wrong. You are too old to be acting like you don't know when something is inapporpriate or down right wrong. Nine times out of ten you've disciplined your child or someone else's child for this same action but here you are acting brand new to it. Why should I have to suck up how I feel to appease you when I clearly feel like you still gon shit in my corn flakes. If you had ample time to make something happen and CHOSE not to for whatever reason, then when somebody else decides to make something happen you jump on the band wagon, not take over and try to start driving. See that's the shit right there that'll make your older ass get ran over.

And yes, I am very irate/livid at the moment.

Homophobia

It's 2008 and people still have homophobia, I find that funny. I personally don't care who is gay or who is not, because either way it doesn't effect me. Everyone is sending those stooopid email messages saying NeYo is gay, WHO CARES he makes good music gay/straight/bi whatever he is. I don't see what someone's sexual preference has to do with anything.

Just like you don't like every girl/guy that you see, they don't either; so what exactly are you scared of? Also, if your confident in who you are, and what you prefer, no one can TURN you gay so it's just stupid to say that. People always justify it by saying it's "ungodly", but I thought judging was "ungodly" too. It is not your job to judge them for what they are doing. It's not as if being gay harms people, they are not murderers, or child molestors. Also, why is it so hard to believe that SOME of them were born thinking as if they were the opposite sex. We already know that there are people who are born with both sex organs, so why is it so hard to believe that there can be some miswiring in the brain as well?

From asking a group of people I found it interesting that most people would rather have a child that's a whore, than a child that is gay. You would like to think that parents are ready to accept their kids for who they are, but since we ARE the next generation of parents, I guess we haven't got to that point yet.

Who let you out the house looking like that?

Who let you out of the house looking like that?

Thou who hath no real friends, this is for you.

Yes, it is true, clothes do not care who wear them. I believe manufacturers will make any style of clothing in every single size, not to make money but for the pure sake of entertainment. Seriously, why would anyone make spandex pants in a 4x? That's just insane. The world's supply of spandex will surely soon be depleted.

Do not get me wrong this is not a fat bashing. People of all sizes do not always choose clothing that is flattering to their particular shape.

For example:

If you are over 37 I personally recommend that you no longer wear mini skirts and belly shirts. I don't care how many drunk old men told you how sexy you are, or how young you look in the face. Ma'am, we can tell how many kids you have had from the stretch mark rings around your belly button. Quit it, Please! For the sake of the general public!

If you have a nice slim legs, slim arms, and/or a nice bosom, but you have a 22 inch Cadillac tire around your belly....that is called a Muffin top. Never ever should any of your skin fall over the top of your pants to where you might lose sight of your belt. Buy a bigger pair of pants or a larger shirt or tuck that mess in some spanx.

Mexican prom shoes should never be worn out in public period. No matter what nationality you are.

Skinny jeans on people with no shape looks gross.

Out of shape men with beer bellies should not wear fitted shirts.

Most( if not all) of these examples were witnessed in public places. Where are these people's friends?? I have good friends who wont let me leave the house looking a H.A.M. (Hot Azz Mess)

I even have friends who won't let me buy clothes that do not flatter my shape. True friends don't let other friends embarrass themselves (in public).

Forgiveness & Trust

One of the hardest things to do is forget something that hurt you. People say all the time "you forgive, but you never forget" but if your trying to move forward with that situation, how does that work? No matter how bad you try to get over it, or move on, when a situation comes about that triggers that memory, you will remember. You will remember exactly how you felt, the emotions you went thru, etc... may even feel different towards whoever it was that hurt you for a moment.

Can you truly forgive someone, if you never forget how you felt? I don't believe so. I believe you can agree to move on, because you feel as though your bond with that person may be worth it; but when it comes to a situation similar to the 1 you are supposed to forget, you will always remember. It's like Lyfe said, "once the trust is gone, you can never get it back". You may trust that person in every other aspect of your friendship, relationship, what have you; but when it comes to that situation your trust is gone. As much as you want to hope they will never do "whatever it is they did to lose your trust" again, you wouldn't put it past them if they did.

In order for people to truly understand how forgiveness works, they need to understand that; just because you say "I forgive you", that does not mean everything you felt will be erased. The word "forgive" is not magic. We need to understand that saying that word is just the beginning. In order for that friendship, relationship, etc... to be repaired, both parties will need to openly communicate on how they feel and/or felt about the situation. Emotions and memories are like dust, you can sweep them under the rug if you like; but they are still there and therefore they can still cause you to sneeze.

Ay, If I tell you one mo time...

Don't you hate it when people ask you the same thing over and over again. If I told you once, I told you twice...my answer is still the same. Why ask me something if you can't accept what I say? What do you want me to say? Matter of fact, tell me what you want me to say so the next time you ask me I can tell you. If you can't handle the truth, don't ask the question(s).

Don't you also hate it when people ask you something like "do you like my outfit" or "do you like the person I'm dating" and your response is no, then they're reply back is that you're hatin' on them. C'mon now...why do I need to hate on you when you're CLEARLY trying to get my stamp of approval. If I don't like something, I DON'T LIKE IT. I don't care if its a $1,000 bag by Gucci, some $600 shoes by Marc Jacobs or the highest paid football player in the league, if I don't like it/him, I won't... regardless of who it is or what it is!

And if I told once that your guy/girl is a runner (whore) and it prolly won't be a good look for you to hook up with them and you do it anyway, don't get mad if I'm not sensitive to your relationship problems. I'm not going to bring up the fact that I "told you so," because by now you already know I "told you so." But what I will do is keep my breath to myself and watch how the rest of your story unfolds. Everybody think they're a professional when they're still enrolled in amateur classes. Words from the wise... get some credits first, get you some credits!!!

Long story short, don't ask questions that you really don't want to know the answer to and if you do cancel the sensitiveness and defensiveness...we too old for that!

Could you handle it...

Let's say your significant other cheated on you, could you handle them telling you that they did?

Even though you're hurting and mad could you respect the fact that they came and told you?

Could you accept the fact that they were man/woman enough to admit their wrongs and try to make amends for it?

Tough questions, right!!! To be honest I don't know how I would feel, respond, or react. Cheating is always a tough pill to swallow. There's no easy way to get it down without gagging, choking, or it not leaving a lasting impression inside on it's way to digestion. It's one of those pains that sometimes just don't make sense. Sometimes you never see it coming, but they say you usually always have a sign. It may be apparent and sometimes it may not be, but I'm almost certain it's never wanted. Then the cheater usually wants to be forgiven and get back in the cheated's good graces. Often times they have an excuse as to why they cheated, as if their explanation makes it better. There is no excuse that'll make me say "oh ok, I get it...I understand why you did that." I guess this is one of those situtations where you'll have to be in that situtation before you can really comment on how you'll react.

what are your intentions???

If people would simply state their intentions before jumping in the sack, a lot of confusion would be eliminated. I've noticed that people tend to s3x, s3x, s3x, and then ask ...so what are we doing here???? UMMM it's a bit late for that.

She's thinking: We spend soo much time together.. We hang out, watch movies and cuddle , he's so cool.
He's thinking: What's the shortest movie I can put on today so we can get straight to the s3x.
(lame example I know, but it shows how 2 people can view the same thing differently)

Now if these same people had discussed what they were looking for and trying to do upfront, they wouldn't be confused about what they are doing.

Men state your intentions. If a woman hears your intentions upfront, she can make the decision as to whether or not she's willing to entertain you further. You will win some, and you will lose some, but you will know that those who did sign up for the ride, know where it's heading. There will be no surprises or confusion down the line. There are plenty of chics who are looking to "just have a good time" too, so seek out THOSE chics. "You can't go into a couture store trying to buy a $12 white tee"... translation: if your looking for the easy, fly by night chic, then go where they are and spit your game to them... a woman with respect, and intelligence, will not entertain or even understand your dialect. She may even feel offended and think to herself "what vibe did i give off that this ninja thought i was one of THOSE chics".

Ladies at the same time don't be naive. The majority of the men who read this (which will be a lot because I foresee thousands of readers...lol) will understand it, maybe even nod their heads agreeing, but are NOT going to start stating their intentions. Why??? because they feel as though by coming across too bluntly, they may lose out on a potential who they could convince to "do it". (to those men: "silly wabbit, tricks are for kids"). Knowing all of this, "don't sell yourself like a $12 tee, and then expect to be treated like a couture item".

Men In Skinny Jeans...

"Who in the heyell left this gate open..."

WHY! WHY! WHY! Men please tell me why in the heyell are ya'll in these skinny jeans??? What makes you convince yourself that this is a hot thing to do? What is manly about being in some skinny jeans? Do you actually look in a full body mirror and be like "yea boy, I look fresh to def today." BULLSHYT!!! Stop lying to yourself. You might as well get a clutch bag, some hoop earrings, some lip gloss that's popping and some nice stilettos to round out the outfit. And where the heyell do you put your boys in some skinny jeans? I thought they needed room to hang...out! And do you wear "tighty whities?" This is so disturbing, I can't believe I'm actually asking this.

For the longest, I thought couldn't nothing top my un-attraction to men in some loafers until this men in skinny jeans phenomenon rolled around. How do you honestly go somewhere with a man that has on jeans tighter than you or tight like you? What are we "the tight jeaned co-ed duo?" C'mon ya'll now...for real?! I don't want to see a man's thigh bulging through his pants unless he has on some track tights or a football uniform. Now I respect the fact that all men are not fans of "baggy" jeans. That's cool but the minute you go tighter than a cowboy in his relaxed fit jean...Houston We Have A Problem!!!

MISSING!!!

Hey guys my friend is missing and I need your help. The last time I saw him he was going HARD, got sick, and then threw up white stuff everywhere. I saw him briefly after that and he was very calm, and relaxed, but I haven't seen him since. He's a chocolate fella, and he's very thyck and muscular. I think he lifts weights…;) He's about THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSS big times like 29. Everytime I see him he's with these other two dudes, so I'm pretty sure wherever he is they are together. I just wish I could find him. He's a very GOOD friend. He likes to do all the same stuff I like to do, and without him I'm kinda bored. He's not a runner, but he has endurance like one, so he could be across the map by now. He is usually somewhere trying to stay warm, but every now and then he likes to hang out. He plays the guitar sometimes. He really enjoys getting wet, so I'm sure wherever he is there's a beach near. He's one of my closest friends, so I'm really missing him. He likes to play fight with me, and he usually beats me up pretty bad. Sometimes I end up wobbling like a boxer...lol Please help me find my friend, he left something behind and I have it for him.

A camera taking your picture does NOT equal model...

All of these aspiring video and magazine chics are killing me...lol Since when did portraying yourself as a whore become "the thing to do"? When did we lose our values and decide that "modeling azz" was a career move? I mean really, what's the difference between what SOME of them do and strippers???... What makes it even worse is that if you happen to know a couple of these wannabe "models" you will find that a lot of them have kids. WOW great role model!

A lot of these chics choose to go into this "glorified" business because they see it as a quick buck, and a good way to meet "ballers", but everything comes with a price. If a new gucci bag, and a couple hundred dollars is worth your respect then by all means strip down and get to posing. I don't think they even care to listen to the lyrics of the videos that they decide to be featured in...lol All they hear is OPEN CALL and they getting hoochified up, and going to try out. Twirking like there's a 401K sign up at the end of the video shoot. I wonder how many of them have health insurance and dental care???...lol

I could write about this more, but why even bother... Just like their 15 minutes of fame come and go, their 5 minutes of my time has also come to an end. Good Luck "Ladies", and I use the term loosely!

It's raining and I'm still in a drought...

There are only 2 things I like to do when it's raining and since I'm not sleepy, I'm frustrated. Rain is like the best soundtrack to a GREAT s3x session. There's just something about the sound of pouring rain hitting, mixed with back shots of thunder, and smacks of lightning that is just erotic. (I could just be h0rny, idk). Times like this have you mad at your body pillows because they are just not holding up their end of the bargain. I'm not sure who they modeled these pillows after, but it wasn't the body I'm missing, umph. Sometimes I wish I was promiscuous, then there would never be a drought. (That was a joke people.. If you know me, you know I don't have it in me). If this drought continues much longer, someone is going to drown when it ends.

SAYING "I DO"

Supposedly once you say those two words there's no turning back but I would have to conquer. I believe wholeheartedly in marriage and respect all that it stands for but I have two conditions in which I would have to renege on my vows: 1.) cheating spelled out ADULTERY and 2.) harming my kids. Now I know that marriage is about work and that nothing is perfect but unfortunately that's where I draw the line. If I commit myself to you, I expect you to commit yourself to me. Before we even venture down the aisle there has be an agreement that we'll keep an open line of communication at all times. There should be no reason why you can't convey to me that you're feeling neglected in some way that I can't fix or at least attempt to address. We always say that the opposite sex is complicated but we actually want some of the same things. We both want to be respected, needed and have our own space. Now depending on the sex we may want a few more things but the basic are covered with those three.

Back to me. I can't take a cheater. Just like when a guy who cheats frequently on his girl can't take the fact or thought of his girl cheating on him, I'm the same way. Just like when guys feel betrayed, hurt or heartbroken by his girl notion, I too feel the same way. And why is it that a cheater feels hurt when he becomes the cheatee? Mama, always said do unto others as you want them to do to you...hello!!! I don't want to hear that excuse that "She meant nothing, it was just a hit," "I just needed a release," "It just happened...but I love you." LOVE??? Halle Berry said it best "Love shoulda brought you a$$ home last night." I'm not the one!!!! It ain't right and I know its not a justified means but when a woman goes a knocks off her man's friend out of retaliation I consider it just cause. Clearly, he's hurting and obviously so is she but it just seems to balance out the carnal equation. Grant it, nobody actually wins but it makes the act O.K... for a brief period of time. I know that the bible says vengeance is not ours but sometimes you can't help to think or act out in that manner. Continue to pray for me, God ain't finished with me yet...LOL!!!

As far as my kids are concerned no explanation is needed. I'm not a mother yet but I would assume the same way I felt about my "my little ponies" as kid I would prolly feel a hundred times more protective of my child. My "my little ponies" were just plastic little figures that were given to me to play with but a child...my child, that's a different story. This is a being that I carried for nine months and gave birth to. Someone that God placed in my possession to take care of, nurture, teach and love them unconditionally. I can't even fathom something like that happening but if it did please believe it'll be curtains!!!

I think we as women allow men to get away with too much bull**** and they in return never feel compelled to change. We allow our insecurities to excuse their unacceptable behavior and then make excuses for it. I'm not married nor do I have kids but in case I do get married these are my two oppositions involved in staying married. I believe that marriage is something that two people commit to work at continually but somethings before hand needs to be common knowledge. I think things such as this needs to be addressed before taking that plunge so there won't be any surprise misunderstandings further down the world. I hope to one day say "I Do" and become a wife with kids. I hope to engage in the bliss as well as the ups and downs that come along with it but if I engage in one of the two encounters I mentioned above please pray for ya girl! :-P

Why do I still Love him, dream about the other and marry this one...

And this to shall pass...My thoughts that exhale memories of lovers that Ive experienced. Let me ask the question is it an issue to always love some one but you know being with them isn't healthy. Then on another note why the hell you thinking about being with one guy when you still dreaming about another and fucking the current one. This shit is confusing. Need help in letting the past rest. At the same time I'm over wanting to still have relations with one of the past experiences. Now there is one that came out of the wood works and I think about how good his head was but him I never loved he was just a lover that passed through. There is a recent ex lover who I'm trying to remove from my list of wanting to be held by him one last time. Some body please help this "I just need to kiss him....maybe stick the head in one last time" female out...

"If I can't call you fat, don't call me skinny"

"If I can't call you fat, don't call me skinny"

This posting may come across rude but hey, if you know me you know I don't care and I mean every word. Everyday for the past ummmm I don't know how many years people have been making comments to me like:

" you're soooo skinny"

"you need to eat"

"you need like 20 lbs"

Catch my drift? Now if I were to comment back to those SAME people:

"hey, you're fat"

"you should maybe try NOT eating so much"

"you can stand to lose like 20 or more lbs"

it would be like blasphemy. I would be considered extremely rude, mean, and would receive a bunch of "how could you say that" remarks from whoever the person went and cried to. Honestly, what's the difference??? The same way you don't want people pointing out how overweight you are, I don't care to hear your opinion on how underweight I am. (Which I'm not!). The last time I checked, whenever I go to the doctor I come back with a "great" health report, can you say the same?


Don't get me wrong I understand that sometimes people are saying it in a joking manner (and I'm always down for a good laugh), and mean nothing by it, but I'm also smart enough to tell the difference. People should just worry about their own weight. Everyone was not meant to be the same size. The same way it's hard for a large person to lose weight, it can be hard for a smaller person to gain weight. So, if it's their goal to gain weight and they are struggling, your pointing out that they are slim definitely is not helping.


So let this be a warning to those who decide it's their duty to inform me of my so called "weight problem". From now on I'm shooting from the hip. I'm no longer holding back the comeback (which I always have), so be prepared.

I know it's a knife, but can it cut....lol

I decided to write a fun piece so here goes....

CLEARLY, this piece has nothing to do with actual knives. Knives are just the term a couple of us Elite members have started using for guys. I've seen plenty of pieces written by guys about the different types of females they keep around, so it's only right that we let them in on their positions as well. So to the guys I pose the question "I know you're a knife, but can you cut?" and ladies, use this piece to sharpen your knife collection. I'm sure you will recognize which knives you already have.

The most common knife to have is the pocket knife- A pocket knife is a guy who you will call on peiodically when you trying to get "cut". The pocket knife can be pulled out and used at your convenience, and also put back in it's place when your done using it. (A pocket knife is a must for a chic trying to start a collection)

Another common knife is the butter knife- A butter knife is a guy who's best use is for pre-cutting (4 play). Just like a true "butter knife" he specializes in preparation. He gets you all hot and ready, and hopefully he can perform like a pocket knife and not a plastic knife.

A plastic knife is just like it sounds, disposable. Plastic knives are the guys who you "thought" were going to be butter knives, or pocket knives, and it turns out their performance is waaamp waaamp waaaaaaamp.. so you have to dispose them. One time usage. (What's sad is most plastic knives REALLY think they are pocket knives).

The knife every chic is looking for is the GINSU. Ginsu knives cut you so bad you feel like your commiting suicide. (not literally people... you have to know my sense of humor) A Ginsu knife will leave you feeling like you need to go to the hospital for a pint of blood. Ginsu knives KNOW their worth and dominance over all the other knives and you. Ladies if you get a Ginsu knife make sure your ready. It may have you throwing out the rest of your cutlery. TRUST ME

So chics, evaluate the knives in your collection; and guys, come to grips with the type of knife you REALLY are. Keep in mind that you can be a Ginsu to 1 chic, but to another you could be plastic.

"I may not be where I want to be, but I'm right where I'm supposed to be"

"I may not be where I want to be, but I'm right where I'm supposed to be" - I dunno who originally said it but hey they were pretty optimistic

Anyone who knows me knows that I definitely had to be one of the "are we there yet" kids. I like to know the who, what, where, when, why, are you sure, but that doesn't make sense to me... etc about EVERYTHING important/attention worthy to ME. Things that are not important to me don't even go in 1 ear to go out the other, they linger somewhere around my ear until something catches my attn and then I'll say "ok, I wasn't listening, but what did you say" (I know it's rude, but it's the truth and that should outweigh the rudeness). Any who, that's not what I decided to write about, so continuing...

I'm the type of person that won't get out of bed unless the time ends in a 5 or 0, hate when people leave voice mails because I hate to see the envelope on my cellphone screen (for some reason it just makes it appear messy to me). I'm just pretty anal about a lot of things so of course not feeling like I'm where I should be in life really, really bothers me. Call it cocky, conceited, unrealistic, whatever but this "transitional phase" was not slated to last this long on my timeline. I've ALWAYS had high standards for myself, and anything less than success by these standards means I'm failing. I always thought that by this time in my life I would be at least 3 years into my CAREER, financially stable enough to help out others, and being a mentor for someone's daughter. I would also be happily in a relationship (I'M NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP TOP RAMEN...lol) and on the brink of marriage. Kids would come a year or two after the marriage, because I always felt like you needed to enjoy the newlywed stage and truly adapt to the married life first. I had this all planned out, and needless to say I'm kinda off schedule.

Don't get me wrong I have a good job. I'm with a great company, my job allows many opportunities for advancement, I'm getting increases just about every 3 months (those cents are starting to add up...lol) and it's very stress free and conducive to a grad student schedule. I will be able to resume my grad courses very soon, and I have a good "friend" who very much enjoys playing the relationship role, and may be all that I need right now. It's just not what I had planned, so for me it feels like I'm waking up everyday and the time ends in a 3 or 4 . Just off.

Which brings me to that optimistic person's quote "I may not be where I want to be, but I'm right where I'm supposed to be" how do they know that? (see there I go with the questions again) I'm not sure if a crackhead is right where they are supposed to be in life, and I don't think the drug dealer is either. I believe that sometimes people "just are". I'm sure there are those that will say "maybe this transitional phase will make you appreciate the success that much more" heck I just thought of the sentence so I guess part of my brain is telling myself that. I still think I would have appreciated it the same if I had stuck to the timeline. Maybe my timeline was the problem all along. I set my own timeline, when it wasn't even my own life. (WOW... Coach Cheese and my BFF via email who has never met me Shellie would be proud of that line...) So all this time I guess is not being wasted, I guess I'm just realigning myself with the "real" timeline that was set. I've just decided this second (which I'm pretty sure I will have to remind myself from time to time) not to leave it up to me to know the next bullet point on the timeline, but to check with HIM first. The bullet point that I have next, could very well be next to last or non-existent on the "real" timeline.

We can set goals, and list things that we would like to accomplish, but if we do all of this blindly we will always be disappointed. I've been writing for almost 30 min now and I want to break habit and end with the time on an 8, so I'm done.