Sunday, August 31, 2008
It's raining and I'm still in a drought...
There are only 2 things I like to do when it's raining and since I'm not sleepy, I'm frustrated. Rain is like the best soundtrack to a GREAT s3x session. There's just something about the sound of pouring rain hitting, mixed with back shots of thunder, and smacks of lightning that is just erotic. (I could just be h0rny, idk). Times like this have you mad at your body pillows because they are just not holding up their end of the bargain. I'm not sure who they modeled these pillows after, but it wasn't the body I'm missing, umph. Sometimes I wish I was promiscuous, then there would never be a drought. (That was a joke people.. If you know me, you know I don't have it in me). If this drought continues much longer, someone is going to drown when it ends.
SAYING "I DO"
Supposedly once you say those two words there's no turning back but I would have to conquer. I believe wholeheartedly in marriage and respect all that it stands for but I have two conditions in which I would have to renege on my vows: 1.) cheating spelled out ADULTERY and 2.) harming my kids. Now I know that marriage is about work and that nothing is perfect but unfortunately that's where I draw the line. If I commit myself to you, I expect you to commit yourself to me. Before we even venture down the aisle there has be an agreement that we'll keep an open line of communication at all times. There should be no reason why you can't convey to me that you're feeling neglected in some way that I can't fix or at least attempt to address. We always say that the opposite sex is complicated but we actually want some of the same things. We both want to be respected, needed and have our own space. Now depending on the sex we may want a few more things but the basic are covered with those three.
Back to me. I can't take a cheater. Just like when a guy who cheats frequently on his girl can't take the fact or thought of his girl cheating on him, I'm the same way. Just like when guys feel betrayed, hurt or heartbroken by his girl notion, I too feel the same way. And why is it that a cheater feels hurt when he becomes the cheatee? Mama, always said do unto others as you want them to do to you...hello!!! I don't want to hear that excuse that "She meant nothing, it was just a hit," "I just needed a release," "It just happened...but I love you." LOVE??? Halle Berry said it best "Love shoulda brought you a$$ home last night." I'm not the one!!!! It ain't right and I know its not a justified means but when a woman goes a knocks off her man's friend out of retaliation I consider it just cause. Clearly, he's hurting and obviously so is she but it just seems to balance out the carnal equation. Grant it, nobody actually wins but it makes the act O.K... for a brief period of time. I know that the bible says vengeance is not ours but sometimes you can't help to think or act out in that manner. Continue to pray for me, God ain't finished with me yet...LOL!!!
As far as my kids are concerned no explanation is needed. I'm not a mother yet but I would assume the same way I felt about my "my little ponies" as kid I would prolly feel a hundred times more protective of my child. My "my little ponies" were just plastic little figures that were given to me to play with but a child...my child, that's a different story. This is a being that I carried for nine months and gave birth to. Someone that God placed in my possession to take care of, nurture, teach and love them unconditionally. I can't even fathom something like that happening but if it did please believe it'll be curtains!!!
I think we as women allow men to get away with too much bull**** and they in return never feel compelled to change. We allow our insecurities to excuse their unacceptable behavior and then make excuses for it. I'm not married nor do I have kids but in case I do get married these are my two oppositions involved in staying married. I believe that marriage is something that two people commit to work at continually but somethings before hand needs to be common knowledge. I think things such as this needs to be addressed before taking that plunge so there won't be any surprise misunderstandings further down the world. I hope to one day say "I Do" and become a wife with kids. I hope to engage in the bliss as well as the ups and downs that come along with it but if I engage in one of the two encounters I mentioned above please pray for ya girl! :-P
Back to me. I can't take a cheater. Just like when a guy who cheats frequently on his girl can't take the fact or thought of his girl cheating on him, I'm the same way. Just like when guys feel betrayed, hurt or heartbroken by his girl notion, I too feel the same way. And why is it that a cheater feels hurt when he becomes the cheatee? Mama, always said do unto others as you want them to do to you...hello!!! I don't want to hear that excuse that "She meant nothing, it was just a hit," "I just needed a release," "It just happened...but I love you." LOVE??? Halle Berry said it best "Love shoulda brought you a$$ home last night." I'm not the one!!!! It ain't right and I know its not a justified means but when a woman goes a knocks off her man's friend out of retaliation I consider it just cause. Clearly, he's hurting and obviously so is she but it just seems to balance out the carnal equation. Grant it, nobody actually wins but it makes the act O.K... for a brief period of time. I know that the bible says vengeance is not ours but sometimes you can't help to think or act out in that manner. Continue to pray for me, God ain't finished with me yet...LOL!!!
As far as my kids are concerned no explanation is needed. I'm not a mother yet but I would assume the same way I felt about my "my little ponies" as kid I would prolly feel a hundred times more protective of my child. My "my little ponies" were just plastic little figures that were given to me to play with but a child...my child, that's a different story. This is a being that I carried for nine months and gave birth to. Someone that God placed in my possession to take care of, nurture, teach and love them unconditionally. I can't even fathom something like that happening but if it did please believe it'll be curtains!!!
I think we as women allow men to get away with too much bull**** and they in return never feel compelled to change. We allow our insecurities to excuse their unacceptable behavior and then make excuses for it. I'm not married nor do I have kids but in case I do get married these are my two oppositions involved in staying married. I believe that marriage is something that two people commit to work at continually but somethings before hand needs to be common knowledge. I think things such as this needs to be addressed before taking that plunge so there won't be any surprise misunderstandings further down the world. I hope to one day say "I Do" and become a wife with kids. I hope to engage in the bliss as well as the ups and downs that come along with it but if I engage in one of the two encounters I mentioned above please pray for ya girl! :-P
Why do I still Love him, dream about the other and marry this one...
And this to shall pass...My thoughts that exhale memories of lovers that Ive experienced. Let me ask the question is it an issue to always love some one but you know being with them isn't healthy. Then on another note why the hell you thinking about being with one guy when you still dreaming about another and fucking the current one. This shit is confusing. Need help in letting the past rest. At the same time I'm over wanting to still have relations with one of the past experiences. Now there is one that came out of the wood works and I think about how good his head was but him I never loved he was just a lover that passed through. There is a recent ex lover who I'm trying to remove from my list of wanting to be held by him one last time. Some body please help this "I just need to kiss him....maybe stick the head in one last time" female out...
Friday, August 29, 2008
"If I can't call you fat, don't call me skinny"
"If I can't call you fat, don't call me skinny"
This posting may come across rude but hey, if you know me you know I don't care and I mean every word. Everyday for the past ummmm I don't know how many years people have been making comments to me like:
" you're soooo skinny"
"you need to eat"
"you need like 20 lbs"
Catch my drift? Now if I were to comment back to those SAME people:
"hey, you're fat"
"you should maybe try NOT eating so much"
"you can stand to lose like 20 or more lbs"
it would be like blasphemy. I would be considered extremely rude, mean, and would receive a bunch of "how could you say that" remarks from whoever the person went and cried to. Honestly, what's the difference??? The same way you don't want people pointing out how overweight you are, I don't care to hear your opinion on how underweight I am. (Which I'm not!). The last time I checked, whenever I go to the doctor I come back with a "great" health report, can you say the same?
Don't get me wrong I understand that sometimes people are saying it in a joking manner (and I'm always down for a good laugh), and mean nothing by it, but I'm also smart enough to tell the difference. People should just worry about their own weight. Everyone was not meant to be the same size. The same way it's hard for a large person to lose weight, it can be hard for a smaller person to gain weight. So, if it's their goal to gain weight and they are struggling, your pointing out that they are slim definitely is not helping.
So let this be a warning to those who decide it's their duty to inform me of my so called "weight problem". From now on I'm shooting from the hip. I'm no longer holding back the comeback (which I always have), so be prepared.
This posting may come across rude but hey, if you know me you know I don't care and I mean every word. Everyday for the past ummmm I don't know how many years people have been making comments to me like:
" you're soooo skinny"
"you need to eat"
"you need like 20 lbs"
Catch my drift? Now if I were to comment back to those SAME people:
"hey, you're fat"
"you should maybe try NOT eating so much"
"you can stand to lose like 20 or more lbs"
it would be like blasphemy. I would be considered extremely rude, mean, and would receive a bunch of "how could you say that" remarks from whoever the person went and cried to. Honestly, what's the difference??? The same way you don't want people pointing out how overweight you are, I don't care to hear your opinion on how underweight I am. (Which I'm not!). The last time I checked, whenever I go to the doctor I come back with a "great" health report, can you say the same?
Don't get me wrong I understand that sometimes people are saying it in a joking manner (and I'm always down for a good laugh), and mean nothing by it, but I'm also smart enough to tell the difference. People should just worry about their own weight. Everyone was not meant to be the same size. The same way it's hard for a large person to lose weight, it can be hard for a smaller person to gain weight. So, if it's their goal to gain weight and they are struggling, your pointing out that they are slim definitely is not helping.
So let this be a warning to those who decide it's their duty to inform me of my so called "weight problem". From now on I'm shooting from the hip. I'm no longer holding back the comeback (which I always have), so be prepared.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
I know it's a knife, but can it cut....lol
I decided to write a fun piece so here goes....
CLEARLY, this piece has nothing to do with actual knives. Knives are just the term a couple of us Elite members have started using for guys. I've seen plenty of pieces written by guys about the different types of females they keep around, so it's only right that we let them in on their positions as well. So to the guys I pose the question "I know you're a knife, but can you cut?" and ladies, use this piece to sharpen your knife collection. I'm sure you will recognize which knives you already have.
The most common knife to have is the pocket knife- A pocket knife is a guy who you will call on peiodically when you trying to get "cut". The pocket knife can be pulled out and used at your convenience, and also put back in it's place when your done using it. (A pocket knife is a must for a chic trying to start a collection)
Another common knife is the butter knife- A butter knife is a guy who's best use is for pre-cutting (4 play). Just like a true "butter knife" he specializes in preparation. He gets you all hot and ready, and hopefully he can perform like a pocket knife and not a plastic knife.
A plastic knife is just like it sounds, disposable. Plastic knives are the guys who you "thought" were going to be butter knives, or pocket knives, and it turns out their performance is waaamp waaamp waaaaaaamp.. so you have to dispose them. One time usage. (What's sad is most plastic knives REALLY think they are pocket knives).
The knife every chic is looking for is the GINSU. Ginsu knives cut you so bad you feel like your commiting suicide. (not literally people... you have to know my sense of humor) A Ginsu knife will leave you feeling like you need to go to the hospital for a pint of blood. Ginsu knives KNOW their worth and dominance over all the other knives and you. Ladies if you get a Ginsu knife make sure your ready. It may have you throwing out the rest of your cutlery. TRUST ME
So chics, evaluate the knives in your collection; and guys, come to grips with the type of knife you REALLY are. Keep in mind that you can be a Ginsu to 1 chic, but to another you could be plastic.
"I may not be where I want to be, but I'm right where I'm supposed to be"
"I may not be where I want to be, but I'm right where I'm supposed to be" - I dunno who originally said it but hey they were pretty optimistic
Anyone who knows me knows that I definitely had to be one of the "are we there yet" kids. I like to know the who, what, where, when, why, are you sure, but that doesn't make sense to me... etc about EVERYTHING important/attention worthy to ME. Things that are not important to me don't even go in 1 ear to go out the other, they linger somewhere around my ear until something catches my attn and then I'll say "ok, I wasn't listening, but what did you say" (I know it's rude, but it's the truth and that should outweigh the rudeness). Any who, that's not what I decided to write about, so continuing...
I'm the type of person that won't get out of bed unless the time ends in a 5 or 0, hate when people leave voice mails because I hate to see the envelope on my cellphone screen (for some reason it just makes it appear messy to me). I'm just pretty anal about a lot of things so of course not feeling like I'm where I should be in life really, really bothers me. Call it cocky, conceited, unrealistic, whatever but this "transitional phase" was not slated to last this long on my timeline. I've ALWAYS had high standards for myself, and anything less than success by these standards means I'm failing. I always thought that by this time in my life I would be at least 3 years into my CAREER, financially stable enough to help out others, and being a mentor for someone's daughter. I would also be happily in a relationship (I'M NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP TOP RAMEN...lol) and on the brink of marriage. Kids would come a year or two after the marriage, because I always felt like you needed to enjoy the newlywed stage and truly adapt to the married life first. I had this all planned out, and needless to say I'm kinda off schedule.
Don't get me wrong I have a good job. I'm with a great company, my job allows many opportunities for advancement, I'm getting increases just about every 3 months (those cents are starting to add up...lol) and it's very stress free and conducive to a grad student schedule. I will be able to resume my grad courses very soon, and I have a good "friend" who very much enjoys playing the relationship role, and may be all that I need right now. It's just not what I had planned, so for me it feels like I'm waking up everyday and the time ends in a 3 or 4 . Just off.
Which brings me to that optimistic person's quote "I may not be where I want to be, but I'm right where I'm supposed to be" how do they know that? (see there I go with the questions again) I'm not sure if a crackhead is right where they are supposed to be in life, and I don't think the drug dealer is either. I believe that sometimes people "just are". I'm sure there are those that will say "maybe this transitional phase will make you appreciate the success that much more" heck I just thought of the sentence so I guess part of my brain is telling myself that. I still think I would have appreciated it the same if I had stuck to the timeline. Maybe my timeline was the problem all along. I set my own timeline, when it wasn't even my own life. (WOW... Coach Cheese and my BFF via email who has never met me Shellie would be proud of that line...) So all this time I guess is not being wasted, I guess I'm just realigning myself with the "real" timeline that was set. I've just decided this second (which I'm pretty sure I will have to remind myself from time to time) not to leave it up to me to know the next bullet point on the timeline, but to check with HIM first. The bullet point that I have next, could very well be next to last or non-existent on the "real" timeline.
We can set goals, and list things that we would like to accomplish, but if we do all of this blindly we will always be disappointed. I've been writing for almost 30 min now and I want to break habit and end with the time on an 8, so I'm done.
Anyone who knows me knows that I definitely had to be one of the "are we there yet" kids. I like to know the who, what, where, when, why, are you sure, but that doesn't make sense to me... etc about EVERYTHING important/attention worthy to ME. Things that are not important to me don't even go in 1 ear to go out the other, they linger somewhere around my ear until something catches my attn and then I'll say "ok, I wasn't listening, but what did you say" (I know it's rude, but it's the truth and that should outweigh the rudeness). Any who, that's not what I decided to write about, so continuing...
I'm the type of person that won't get out of bed unless the time ends in a 5 or 0, hate when people leave voice mails because I hate to see the envelope on my cellphone screen (for some reason it just makes it appear messy to me). I'm just pretty anal about a lot of things so of course not feeling like I'm where I should be in life really, really bothers me. Call it cocky, conceited, unrealistic, whatever but this "transitional phase" was not slated to last this long on my timeline. I've ALWAYS had high standards for myself, and anything less than success by these standards means I'm failing. I always thought that by this time in my life I would be at least 3 years into my CAREER, financially stable enough to help out others, and being a mentor for someone's daughter. I would also be happily in a relationship (I'M NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP TOP RAMEN...lol) and on the brink of marriage. Kids would come a year or two after the marriage, because I always felt like you needed to enjoy the newlywed stage and truly adapt to the married life first. I had this all planned out, and needless to say I'm kinda off schedule.
Don't get me wrong I have a good job. I'm with a great company, my job allows many opportunities for advancement, I'm getting increases just about every 3 months (those cents are starting to add up...lol) and it's very stress free and conducive to a grad student schedule. I will be able to resume my grad courses very soon, and I have a good "friend" who very much enjoys playing the relationship role, and may be all that I need right now. It's just not what I had planned, so for me it feels like I'm waking up everyday and the time ends in a 3 or 4 . Just off.
Which brings me to that optimistic person's quote "I may not be where I want to be, but I'm right where I'm supposed to be" how do they know that? (see there I go with the questions again) I'm not sure if a crackhead is right where they are supposed to be in life, and I don't think the drug dealer is either. I believe that sometimes people "just are". I'm sure there are those that will say "maybe this transitional phase will make you appreciate the success that much more" heck I just thought of the sentence so I guess part of my brain is telling myself that. I still think I would have appreciated it the same if I had stuck to the timeline. Maybe my timeline was the problem all along. I set my own timeline, when it wasn't even my own life. (WOW... Coach Cheese and my BFF via email who has never met me Shellie would be proud of that line...) So all this time I guess is not being wasted, I guess I'm just realigning myself with the "real" timeline that was set. I've just decided this second (which I'm pretty sure I will have to remind myself from time to time) not to leave it up to me to know the next bullet point on the timeline, but to check with HIM first. The bullet point that I have next, could very well be next to last or non-existent on the "real" timeline.
We can set goals, and list things that we would like to accomplish, but if we do all of this blindly we will always be disappointed. I've been writing for almost 30 min now and I want to break habit and end with the time on an 8, so I'm done.
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