SAYING "I DO"

Supposedly once you say those two words there's no turning back but I would have to conquer. I believe wholeheartedly in marriage and respect all that it stands for but I have two conditions in which I would have to renege on my vows: 1.) cheating spelled out ADULTERY and 2.) harming my kids. Now I know that marriage is about work and that nothing is perfect but unfortunately that's where I draw the line. If I commit myself to you, I expect you to commit yourself to me. Before we even venture down the aisle there has be an agreement that we'll keep an open line of communication at all times. There should be no reason why you can't convey to me that you're feeling neglected in some way that I can't fix or at least attempt to address. We always say that the opposite sex is complicated but we actually want some of the same things. We both want to be respected, needed and have our own space. Now depending on the sex we may want a few more things but the basic are covered with those three.

Back to me. I can't take a cheater. Just like when a guy who cheats frequently on his girl can't take the fact or thought of his girl cheating on him, I'm the same way. Just like when guys feel betrayed, hurt or heartbroken by his girl notion, I too feel the same way. And why is it that a cheater feels hurt when he becomes the cheatee? Mama, always said do unto others as you want them to do to you...hello!!! I don't want to hear that excuse that "She meant nothing, it was just a hit," "I just needed a release," "It just happened...but I love you." LOVE??? Halle Berry said it best "Love shoulda brought you a$$ home last night." I'm not the one!!!! It ain't right and I know its not a justified means but when a woman goes a knocks off her man's friend out of retaliation I consider it just cause. Clearly, he's hurting and obviously so is she but it just seems to balance out the carnal equation. Grant it, nobody actually wins but it makes the act O.K... for a brief period of time. I know that the bible says vengeance is not ours but sometimes you can't help to think or act out in that manner. Continue to pray for me, God ain't finished with me yet...LOL!!!

As far as my kids are concerned no explanation is needed. I'm not a mother yet but I would assume the same way I felt about my "my little ponies" as kid I would prolly feel a hundred times more protective of my child. My "my little ponies" were just plastic little figures that were given to me to play with but a child...my child, that's a different story. This is a being that I carried for nine months and gave birth to. Someone that God placed in my possession to take care of, nurture, teach and love them unconditionally. I can't even fathom something like that happening but if it did please believe it'll be curtains!!!

I think we as women allow men to get away with too much bull**** and they in return never feel compelled to change. We allow our insecurities to excuse their unacceptable behavior and then make excuses for it. I'm not married nor do I have kids but in case I do get married these are my two oppositions involved in staying married. I believe that marriage is something that two people commit to work at continually but somethings before hand needs to be common knowledge. I think things such as this needs to be addressed before taking that plunge so there won't be any surprise misunderstandings further down the world. I hope to one day say "I Do" and become a wife with kids. I hope to engage in the bliss as well as the ups and downs that come along with it but if I engage in one of the two encounters I mentioned above please pray for ya girl! :-P