One of the hardest things to do is forget something that hurt you. People say all the time "you forgive, but you never forget" but if your trying to move forward with that situation, how does that work? No matter how bad you try to get over it, or move on, when a situation comes about that triggers that memory, you will remember. You will remember exactly how you felt, the emotions you went thru, etc... may even feel different towards whoever it was that hurt you for a moment.
Can you truly forgive someone, if you never forget how you felt? I don't believe so. I believe you can agree to move on, because you feel as though your bond with that person may be worth it; but when it comes to a situation similar to the 1 you are supposed to forget, you will always remember. It's like Lyfe said, "once the trust is gone, you can never get it back". You may trust that person in every other aspect of your friendship, relationship, what have you; but when it comes to that situation your trust is gone. As much as you want to hope they will never do "whatever it is they did to lose your trust" again, you wouldn't put it past them if they did.
In order for people to truly understand how forgiveness works, they need to understand that; just because you say "I forgive you", that does not mean everything you felt will be erased. The word "forgive" is not magic. We need to understand that saying that word is just the beginning. In order for that friendship, relationship, etc... to be repaired, both parties will need to openly communicate on how they feel and/or felt about the situation. Emotions and memories are like dust, you can sweep them under the rug if you like; but they are still there and therefore they can still cause you to sneeze.
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3 comments:
Deep!!!
Wow! Did you just read my mind? I just went through this. Well I'm currently going through it. My boyfriend and I broke up one week from our one year anniversary. We got back together about three weeks later...about the first of this month. I forgave him...he eventually forgave me. I think about the reason for the break up sometimes and I'm sure he thinks about it. We actually talked about it about a week after we broke up...had to let him pout...You know most men are spoiled. We talk about most thinks...but we agreed that if we have any problems we will try to talk them out...of course after the heat dies down.
My thing is in a Relationship.. once you cheat that's it! Once you break that type of trust then what is it that you have left in your relationship. Cheating is like the ultimate trust breaker. "Hey baby you going to the store?" "Yeah." "ok" Beofe you know it you're following her to the damn store. Is that anyway to live? It's over once you cheat!
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