If people would simply state their intentions before jumping in the sack, a lot of confusion would be eliminated. I've noticed that people tend to s3x, s3x, s3x, and then ask ...so what are we doing here???? UMMM it's a bit late for that.
She's thinking: We spend soo much time together.. We hang out, watch movies and cuddle , he's so cool.
He's thinking: What's the shortest movie I can put on today so we can get straight to the s3x.
(lame example I know, but it shows how 2 people can view the same thing differently)
Now if these same people had discussed what they were looking for and trying to do upfront, they wouldn't be confused about what they are doing.
Men state your intentions. If a woman hears your intentions upfront, she can make the decision as to whether or not she's willing to entertain you further. You will win some, and you will lose some, but you will know that those who did sign up for the ride, know where it's heading. There will be no surprises or confusion down the line. There are plenty of chics who are looking to "just have a good time" too, so seek out THOSE chics. "You can't go into a couture store trying to buy a $12 white tee"... translation: if your looking for the easy, fly by night chic, then go where they are and spit your game to them... a woman with respect, and intelligence, will not entertain or even understand your dialect. She may even feel offended and think to herself "what vibe did i give off that this ninja thought i was one of THOSE chics".
Ladies at the same time don't be naive. The majority of the men who read this (which will be a lot because I foresee thousands of readers...lol) will understand it, maybe even nod their heads agreeing, but are NOT going to start stating their intentions. Why??? because they feel as though by coming across too bluntly, they may lose out on a potential who they could convince to "do it". (to those men: "silly wabbit, tricks are for kids"). Knowing all of this, "don't sell yourself like a $12 tee, and then expect to be treated like a couture item".
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9 comments:
Now ever chick is going to think that she isn't that $12 t-shirt. Even if your wifey material we want to try the goods first. You might just be lame in the bed, then we have a whole new problem...Men enjoy the cat and mouse game, just tell ladies to keep it in their mind that it may not go any further than the bedroom. Bring more to the table than a big butt and a smile.
in response to maurice:
"even if your wifey material we want to try the goods first"
did you actually read the blog? in no way, shape, or form, did the blog say wait til your in a serious relationship. It simply said "state your intentions". (note: chics want to "try the goods" before they commit to that 1 guy too)
and
if the intentions are clearly stated, no one (man/woman) will be misunderstood as to whether or not they are just a booty call ($12 tee) or not...
"Even if your wifey material we want to try the goods first" and "just tell ladies to keep it in their mind that it may not go any further than the bedroom"...for real Maurice!!! And men wonder why women give them the run around?!
Then to say "Bring more to the table than a big butt and a smile" sends off such a confusing statement about what you said previously, obviously you need to bring more to the table...I'M JUST SAY'N!!!
sex is such a sensitive subject to women. In one breath you want a man to be upfront about his intentions so there aren't any misunderstandings. However, on the other hand you give him the run around because he is upfront. If women weren't so emotional when it comes to sex, this wouldn't be such a big issue. I'm not saying "the elite", but a lot of you get caught up emotionally when guys let you know that it just going to be physical. so your confusing when you say state your intentions up front, but in the back of your minds you feel you can change a man's intentions.
I don't believe most females feel as though they can change a man's intentions. There are those however who truly believe that "if they give him the good good" (as ashanti says) that they can keep him from straying. those chics are naive... if a chic gives you the run around after you tell her what your intentions are, my question to you is why are you entertaining her games??? obviously she's confused and therefore that will always spell headache when you go about your intentions and then she gets emotional...
you have to respect the truth... whether it's what you wanted, expected, etc or not.. you have to respect it
so if you tell a chic your intentions are only to sex, and she goes along with that but later on decides your doing her wrong or something, your not to blame... she knew what she signed up for, and unless that contract was renegotiated, and then breached... she just played herself
Women can't help but to be emotional that's the way we were made, so to get us to stop being this way as it realtes to sex is null and void. For women sex is an emotional act where as for men it could be just an act of release.
Now just because you state your intentions in the beginning doesn't always mean things will go that way. Just like when a guy tries to holla at a girl and she tells him she has a man or she's not interested, that doesn't for what ever reason stop him from trying to get at her. Her intentions are not to engage with him but his intentions are to get her to change her mind. If guys would just except a "no" when its given to them things may flow a little smoother but instead guys see that as a challenge to conquer something.
And then too, you gotta check the woman you pursuing. If you keep pursuing the same type of woman and keep getting the same type of reason then clearly the problem is not them but you.
Again, what's you intentions?
neechiwoo, you getting emotional :)
if a dude is straight up and tells you that this is going to just be physical for him, you have to be honest and tell the guy that you may get a little crazy (stalk him, check his phone, slash tires, normal crazy chick stuff)...just to be honest on both sides :) then he can decide if he wants to take that chance. 50/50
C'mon boo don't flatter yourself... this is not serious enough for me to get emotional about. You was talking about women getting emotional all the time as it pretains to sex. I just trying to enlighten you on the reasons why women may get emotional as it relates to sex but then you got woman who can dip in and dip out just like guys do with no problem.
And you're right, if a dude tells me our relationship is strickly sexual base I can't expect nothing less. And the moment I feel myself getting caught up it's time to detach. You gotta know your limits or as close to it as possible and keep it pimp'n...PIMP'N!!!
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