MY VAGINA'S MONOLOGUE

I’ve been down here in seclusion for so long,
I wonder if I can bounce back
My owner has been tripping lately and won’t cut me no slack
She got her head caught up in that Book
she deems to be a major deal,
I just want a head caught up on my hook,
Pardon me for a second, do you mind if I keep it real
I’m fiending for some attention, I need a connection
I need some interaction, I ain’t afraid of protection
But she keep imposing these random injections
Whenever I get the body to say okay, her mouth reneges and says no
It’s thoroughly pissing me off and in a minute I’m about to blow
She so up and down, she got me going through the changes
Every time I set something up,
she reads something then comes back and rearranges it
Who does she think she is, do she know who I am
I am what make her who is she is
and here she is disregarding me like spam
I feel like there’s no respect and she never hears me out
Whenever I try to speak she shushes me at the mouth
Me and the rest of the body are thinking about going on strike
Cuz we’d be damned if she think
this is how we’re going to live out the rest of our life
I over heard her telling somebody the other day,
that she no longer thinks she’s ready for marriage
I almost had a conniption right then and there,
And was tempted to close down shop
to spare any future embarrassment
Out of all the vagina’s out there, I’m the only one not being used
I’m filing a complaint to the vagina authorities
because this has got to be vagina abuse
She taking this virtuous thing a little too far
And her purity aspect is set way above any bar
All I wanna do is get what’s rightfully mine
But she keep replying in “due time”
Time is due now, matter of fact, time is past due
Who ever “in due time” is, I can’t wait to get my hands on you
And if she read another piece of literature,
ask for more strength from her Savior,
thumb through another page of that Book,
or continually change her behavior
I’ma just go silent
She won’t hear a peep out of me
I’ma just sit back and see what “waiting” allots me to see
Whatever it is, it better be right
It better be the best that she’s never had or we gon fight
Because I personally think this waiting thing ain’t polite
But since this is what she want to do,
I’ma just sit tight

©NEECHI/2009

A message from DOWN BELOW...

you hooo down here.. umm what the hell have you been doing? i mean damn can a sista get a dyck or what! nica we have come to far to turn back now... i know they say "you can't miss what you never had" but bytch we've had it, and we've had it good! don't you miss that shyt? phuck.. let a nica bust a nut or something. remember the 3 strikes rule.. damn, you've just took us out the game... granted we haven't seen a YAHTZEE in a minute, but shyt maybe we should lower the standards and just go for a bingo or shyt maybe even a gold fish or UNO. you are being influenced by ALL the wrong "good" people right now..lol i need to get mine, forget all the b.s you've heard. you don't even seem to be trippin over this ish no more... nica we used to tremble like a fiend without it, now yo azz just reading and ish.. wtf!!! can i be traded?!... clearly you have no use for me right now, you even stop a bytch from bleeding... WTF you taking the pills for, if you were to get pregnant it would be a shock to all of us... hell i may file a lawsuit for not being able to enjoy the conception. man i hope we find a yahtzee soon... cuz yo picky azz gone make me dry up. stop thinking so much. why can't you just get loose like the rest of em?! everybody's doing it... (peer pressure never worked on your azz) get drunk and blame it on the alcohol like the song says..lol however you have to do it, just do it.

- Young Snapper