NO REGRETS, LESSON EARNED

I got in the car turned on the radio and Kool and the Gang serenaded me all the home with Summer Madness. As I’m riding, along I’m thinking to myself “yep, the pimps back in the game.” I went home and pulled my old warm-up out the closet that had been tucked away for over five years. Dusted it off, shook it out and gleamed at the stitching on the back of my jacket that read “THE PIMP IS HERE.” Yes, after a long hard drought I was getting ready to get back in the game. After five years of not being near the game I knew I had a little sprucing up to do but I wasn’t about to let anybody know it. Everything began to happen so fast that I had to re-train myself in the midst of every “uh-oh, YAHTZEE…we got action.”

I began to sharpen and refine my skills every time we encountered. Initially, I thought that after five years things wasn’t quite sure how to work anymore but the devil is a lie, lol. I begin to feel things that I hadn’t never felt before, want things I hadn’t never wanted before and want to try things I hadn’t never tried before. Sometimes having friends that are well versed in something you’re not is not always a good thing. Because when you’re presented with a moment you almost forget that that’s not what you do. But, then on the other hand, it can be a great thing because you already know what to do. :~)

The summer is moving along fine but something just ain’t quite right. The things that didn’t used to bother me before I retired from the game, is now bothering me. Feelings that I never had or used to suppress is alive and in full effect. And my head game (mentally) is a mess (TICKED). My body is EXTRA sensitive and it seems like with every touch I’m falling deeper and deeper into something I’m not familiar with. And it didn’t help at all that I was physically and mentally attracted to him…FCUK! The rules of the game had already been laid out but words and feelings can manipulate a situation at any moment. We had a physical attraction out of this world for one another and every time we’d agree to not do something, we’d be right back doing it. And it didn’t help that we did it so well. It was in these moments that I realized that “I STILL GOT IT” and it’s actually better than before.

It wasn’t till our last encounter that I realized I had to cut it off. We were heading down a road that was leading nowhere. I knew what he wanted but wasn’t sure what I wanted. I knew I wanted something more substantial or something where I could see longevity, but that wasn’t where this was going right now. Once I fell back from the situation and put the emotions to the side, I could see the picture a lot clearer. I didn’t want to but I had to cut the tie now before we got too deep and I couldn’t/wouldn’t know how. Plus, I knew he wouldn’t, he tried and failed miserably at it, LOL! In the end he understood where I was coming from and our respect for one another remained intact.

As for that warm-up, I guess you already know I never got a chance to wear it. It was actually outdated and out of season. I have no regrets from this event but have learned that as you mature, playing games slowly exits out of your life. Looking at the facts and keeping it REAL with YOURSELF begins to take its place. If it’s meant to be it’ll come back around more refined and tailored to fit me, if not, then something better will take its place. As for Summer Madness, it's still playing in the background except now it has a new meaning. :~P